Trip the light fantastic

There’s an old-school phrase for you.  Even as of the early 1900s it was considered trite and hackneyed.  Still, I dig it.  Digging things is also considered trite and hackneyed.  Oh, well.

Took a trip this weekend to visit family and stopped at Meteor Crater outside of Winslow.  I also stood on a corner in Winslow, but did not have seven women on my mind.  Nor did I see a girl in flatbed Ford.  I think the Eagles have lied to me yet again.

The trip was something of a Herculean effort to get from Albuquerque to Prescott.  I40 was under construction about every five miles or so, the big rigs were out in very slow force, and I40 was completely shut down between Flagstaff and Winslow due to a head-on collision that claimed four lives.  We wound up heading south out of Winslow along the old roads, then back up some other old roads into Flagstaff.  Had I a map at my fingertips I would have seen I could have just kept going to Camp Verde and saved a huge chunk of time.  As it was, I wound up on a road that’s so deserted I was the only person on it for about forty miles and is so unused that it barely shows up on Google Maps.

When Google doesn’t know about something, that’s kind of scary.

Now, before you ask, yes, I have a smartphone that has GPS and maps and all the other whiz-bang necessities of modern life.  I’m not 100% certain about my GPS resolution, but I’m pretty sure I could have plotted my position on the planet to within 30 feet or so.  Problem was, I was in the ass-end of nowhere and had zero cel signal.  Zero cel signal means zero data, which means even though GPS was working, I couldn’t call up a map to tell me where my GPS position actually was.  Maybe next time I’ll find a way to cache some detailed maps before I leave.

Anyway, back to Meteor Crater.  That’s the place just off I40 where a 150 foot meteor crashed to Earth around 50000 years ago and left a damned large hole in the ground.  By damned large, I mean nearly a mile wide and about 500 feet deep.  The explosion threw debris for miles in every direction and pretty much vaporized the meteor when it hit.

Mucho grande hole in the ground
Mucho grande hole in the ground

This is why we should work on putting permanent bases on the moon.  All you need is some rocks and a gravity well and you’ve got one hell of a weapon.  Since the moon has a few rocks on it, some supervillain could have the time of his or her life chucking rocks at Earth and watching the fun from the safety of space.

Back in the day, Meteor Crater used to be called Great Meteor Crater and it was billed as “Earth’s most penetrating attraction.”  Alas, they did not have any underwear with that logo, which I think is something of a missed opportunity for them.

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