Better Living Through Chemistry Follow Up

My teeth came out just fine. The doc, a huge, bear of a guy, had the first three out in ten minutes. The last one gave him some fits, but a drill bit took care of it. I walked into the office at 3:30 and was out by 4:15. I’ve now got a little plastic package full of teeth that I intend to take out and smash with a hammer at some point as revenge for all the problems they’ve caused me in the past 45 years.

I posted about it on Facebook and got a whack of stories from people who had their wisdom teeth removed and, it seems, no one has a good experience with this. The stories ranged from “I had the doctor straddling me with a pair of pliers in my mouth” to “I woke up early to find the dentist coming at me with a hammer and chisel.”

Someone needs to find the genetic marker that makes wisdom teeth grow and flip it to off. It’d save everyone a lot of problems in the future.

By the way, the Valium didn’t do much and wore off within a couple hours. The heavy-duty codeine-based pain-killer didn’t do much, either. I guess I’m not cut out to be a drug user. The heavy-duty Ibuprofin worked like a champ, though.

My extraction went fine, but in order to maintain the cosmic balance of life sucking after you get your wisdom teeth out, I got full-on sick right Thursday night. Fever, chills, the whole nine yards. Yesterday, I was exhausted and coughing. And let me tell you something, having a runny nose when you’ve got four big holes in your jaw sucks because blowing your nose hurts.

Anyone got any good stories we can use to terrify the people going in to get their wisdom teeth out?

4 thoughts on “Better Living Through Chemistry Follow Up

  1. Ive a doozy but couldn’t do it justice in a paragraph .. Short short version / supposed to be sedated – turned out to be allergic- nearly killed me- then went for local- small circular saw used to slice my unmoveable teeth in four before extraction splattering blood on dentists face mask as I watched in horror.. That’s the short version.. Enjoyed your blog very much as always Eric. More so from the boredom of my hospital bed having being knocked back to Monday for my op. Your story cheered this lonesome sod up.. Thanks

    • Oh, dear God. That’s horrible. They kicked your op back to Monday and made you wait? Bastards. I hope the op goes well for you. We’re all pulling for you on this side of the pond.

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