Happy Halloween and Don’t Hate Me

Our Kenpo instructor opened class on Thursday with an odd statement. A cup of butter has over 1600 calories in it. My immediate thought was I’d better stop drinking a couple cups of melted butter in the morning, but it went further than that and ultimately digressed into a discussion of how many burpees it would take to work off one small piece of Halloween candy.

For those unfamiliar with the dreaded burpee, this is what it looks like. It’s a squat jump, a mountain climber, and a push up all rolled into one thing.

They’re just as uncomfortable as they look like, but they’re a damned good workout that I largely eschew because reasons.

We didn’t get a final count in class, so I took it upon myself to do a bit of research and what I found may shock you. First up, a single piece of candy, like one of those small Snickers bars you give out on Halloween, has about 100 calories. That doesn’t sound like much, but it adds up quickly.

Now, there’s no exact measurement of how many calories a single burpee burns because it’s somewhat dependent on weight and athletic prowess. Studies have show that a 125 person doing 30 minutes of vigorous calisthenic similar to burpees exercise can burn about 240 calories. The larger the person, the more calories burned in the same time frame with 185 pound person burning off upwards of 355 calories in the same time frame. I’ll go with the larger number and assume a single burpee takes a few seconds to complete. That means 20 burpees in a minute and 600 in a 30 minute stretch. That means a small person would need to do about 12 minutes of burpees to burn off 100 calories and a larger person would need to do around 8 minutes. So, to burn off a 1.25 small Snickers bars, you’re looking at between 160 and 240 burpees. Per tiny candy bar.

Of course, there are other exercises out there that are a bit easier on the body.

  • Weightlifting: 112
  • Walking: 186
  • Yoga/Stretching: 149
  • Stair Stepper: 223
  • Swimming: 223
  • Cycling: 260
  • Rock Climbing: 298
  • Rowing: 316
  • Elliptical: 335
  • Running (6 mph): 372

These numbers came from here, by the way. If you can’t trust the LiveStrong group, who can you trust?

So, why bring all this up? No real reason. Enjoy Halloween, enjoy the candy, dress up and scare kids. It’s once a year and it’s supposed to be fun. You can always do more burpees tomorrow. Or ride a little further, or hit a little harder.

And now, because it’s almost Halloween and I’m current writing a book about a woman who gets killed in the first few pages, enjoy a ghost.

4 thoughts on “Happy Halloween and Don’t Hate Me

  1. I wondered about the “don’t hate me” part . . . now I know, and I can’t say I’m happy with you. 🙂 Just don’t make an eggnog post in December, okay?

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