My dog got sick this week. Run down, runs, waking us up all night long to go to the bathroom, the whole nine yards. Turns out he ate a strip of plastic something he found in the yard. He’s not what you’d call “bright” or a “picky eater”.
Our dogs are basset mixes – one a bagel hound and the other a bassador. While you wouldn’t guess it from two short dogs, they incredibly strong and extremely fast when they find something they’re interested in. They also have noses that can scent things from miles away. And if that something is food, they’ll track it to the ends of the Earth. Back in our old neighborhood, someone tossed a box of donuts by the side of the road. Donut abuse, I know, but it’s Albuquerque so we were mostly happy no one shot the donuts and stole their box. That damned box of donuts sat by the side of the road for weeks and every time we walked by on the opposite side of the street, the dogs would lunge toward it.
This is not to say they wouldn’t go for other things, too. In fact, at one point or another, they’ve manage to seize:
- An alley sandwich
- A roadside tortilla
- A piece of fried chicken in an alley
- Random crunchy things they find in the rocks
Those things were inhaled before we could get them away. And our dogs are well fed and get treats. Still, dogs are dogs and they’ll go for anything.
So, imagine what it takes to get a dog emaciated knowing full well they’ll eat literally anything. That’s the story Ethan, who was found emaciated and dying in shelter parking lot. Fortunately for Ethan, he was nursed back to health and is now living his best life as a dog beer taster with a 20k/yr salary, pet insurance, and all the dog beer he can drink.
It’s a rags to riches story you can only find in America. Although, to be fair, I’m still waiting for my opportunity to be a professional beer drinker. As long as it’s good beer. Unlike dogs, I’m snooty about beer and you’d best keep that IPA crap away from me.
The other side of the story is: Yes, there is such a thing as dog beer. Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, dog beer is a non-alcoholic blend of stuff doggos dig and, contrary to my dogs’ taste in things, it doesn’t include two-week old soggy donuts, alley sandwiches, roadside tortillas, or alley chicken. Come to think of it, maybe walking them down alleys wasn’t my greatest idea ever.
Dog beer is pork butt, vegetables, basil, mint, turmeric, and ginger, in case you were wondering. Feeding regular beer to dogs is still not recommended. Although, I guess, as long as he’s spending his own money on it, Ethan can probably kick back with an Imperial Stout every now and then as one does.
Check out the story here.
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And now, your moment of Zen:
Eric Lahti 