Book Review – The Cauldron by Sirren Rossi

This was a departure from my normal reading fare, which is kind of odd if I stop to think about it. The Cauldron is billed as sci-fi erotica, erotic sci-fi, and sci-fi romance. All good-hearted people love sci-fi and most people can dig on erotica when the mood strikes. Yet, somehow or another this was a story I wouldn’t have sought out. But you meet other authors on Twitter, someone asks nicely for a review, and, well, the rest is history.

Long story short: I really enjoyed this story.

Now, for those of you who don’t think you can intertwine erotica and sci-fi, I’d suggest a little-known book called Altered Carbon, which contains more sex than the average Game of Thrones episode and without the ritual beheading at the end. Sex and sci-fi can play nice with each other if the author has a solid handle on both genres and understands how to intertwine them for the best effect. That doesn’t necessarily mean busting out the R-4310 Orgasmatron, either. It means linking science fiction – the best examples of which are about people not tools – and erotica – again, people not tools. Not saying there’s no room for the R-4310 Orgasmatron in erotic sci-fi, just that the story shouldn’t be solely about advanced sex technology.

So, enter Sirren Rossi, an author who gets that good stories, no matter the genre, always come down to people. And the people in this case largely revolve around one Commander Scirocco Piers who starts the story doing a little sex therapy for a crewmate and ends up showing a softer side of herself spending time with a friend. After fighting off an alien ship with all the gusto of a Klingon yelling, “Perhaps today is a good day to die.”

Ostensibly, The Cauldron is part one of a series and the novella does a good job of leaving us wanting more. It wraps up its own plotline nicely, but teases that’s there’s much more to the story than we’ve seen so far. One would hope Rossi is working on a sequel that will answer some of the underlying questions left behind as well as provide another opportunity to let Commander Scirocco spread her wings and fly a little further into the manic wonderland The Cauldron is setting up.

As an added bonus, like all good sci-fi, this one comes with detailed pictures of the ships involved. It’s like a bit of sex, a lot of action, and some cool nerding out to spaceship porn at the end. Everything you really need in one tight, taut, story about aliens, sex, and interstellar naval battles.

It is the 24th century. Deep in unexplored space lays the uncharted star system GS-104. The Terran Alliance starship ‘Lightning’ – a long range scout vessel – is tasked with surveying this far-flung system for potential colonization. The ‘Lightning’s’ Chief Intelligence Officer – Commander Scirocco Piers – part spy, part officer, and part sex therapist – expects another routine mission.

What she does not expect is that the Lightning will encounter an alien ship from a rival galactic empire – and that the ship will break a long-standing treaty and attack – stealing secrets vital to Terran security across known space.

Now, Scirocco is called upon to use her many and varied skills to attempt to retrieve the stolen secrets and prevent the enemy from getting away with them and putting the whole of the Terran Alliance at risk – all without starting a war.

But with her captain dead and her plans falling apart, Scirocco is faced with challenge after challenge – on the alien ship, on her own ship’s bridge, and in bed – forced to test all her skills with the fate of two empires hanging in the balance.

Can she find it in her heart to be what she must be and do what must be done?

Get your copy on Amazon

Check out Sirren on Twitter

Check out her website

WATWB – Your Monthly Shot of News That Doesn’t Suck

Things is getting better. Cops are rescuing kittens from rush hour traffic, the former record for tallest stack of M&Ms has been broken, and more than 7000 schools are now solar powered. Also, Rudy Giuliani lost his license to practice law in New York, but that’s a whole other story.

Despite all the good news of the day, this is gonna be a short post. Despite the fact that Guinness Book of World Records has seen yet another record smashed, I think it’s best to focus on the gorilla in the room: Solar power. Now, the fact that 7000 schools in the US are going solar sounds really cool – and it is! – but they account for a tiny percentage of total schools, something like 5.5% of the total schools in the country. But it’s a start. Just like the biggest stack of M&Ms in the world started with only two pieces of candy, a switchover to renewable energy – which has huge implications even at the national security level – will start a bit at a time. Eventually, we’ll hit a tipping point and the amount of energy we dig out of the ground at ever-increasing expense will be replaced with panels you strap to your roof. Given the amount of all-electric vehicles I’ve seen lately, that can only be a good thing.

Read the full story here and feel free to slag me for being a liberal tree-hugger in the comments.

If you’d like to connect your blog and help spread a little joy (or snark, like I do), it’s easy to sign up. Just ask and ye shall receive. Or go check it out here: here.

Our lovely and talented hosts this month are: Sylvia McGrath and Belinda Witzenhausen.

1. Keep your post to below 500 words, as much as possible. (Wow, I totally missed that mark this time around).
2. All we ask is you link to a human news story on your blog on the last Friday of each month, one that shows love, humanity and brotherhood.
3. Join us on the last Friday of each month in sharing news that warms the cockles of our heart. No story is too big or small, as long as it goes beyond religion and politics, into the core of humanity.
4. Place the WE ARE THE WORLD Badge on your sidebar, and help us spread the word on social media. Tweets, Facebook shares, G+ shares using the #WATWB hashtag through the month most welcome. More Blogfest signups mean more friends, love and light for all of us.
5. We’ll read and comment on each others’ posts, get to know each other better, and hopefully, make or renew some friendships with everyone who signs on as participants in the coming months.
6. To sign up, add your link in WE ARE THE WORLD Linky List below.
This is a Blog Hop!
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

And now, your moment of Zen:

5. The tallest stack of M&Ms is 5 candies.

Book Review – The Devil’s Valley by DM Shepard

Back in May of 2020, I reviewed a great novel by DM Shepard – The Dark Land. Even though 2020 felt like it lasted twenty years, that was only a little over a year ago. The Dark Land was a horror novel set in that arctic hellscape we like to call Alaska – a place where the mosquitos are organized and voracious, it snows in July, and vampires stalk the long night to feast on the blood of the living. No. Wait. That last bit was the plot to 30 Days of Night, a movie which, um, had vampires in it.

Anyway, rather than rely on the trope of vampires as the prevailing monsters, Shepard did her research and found Alaska was already populated with far worse monsters than a 19th century gentleman in Ireland could come up with. Rather than sucking the blood out of victims and making women pine away for the vampire’s gaze, Shepard’s Tailed Men played soccer with human heads and turned women into zombie sex slaves. Perhaps the gentry of 19th century Europe found rejecting the church and drinking blood to be oh so gauche, something only the lower classes would do, while a gentleman was expected to avoid such tawdry things.

Alaska has a long and rich heritage of people living there for millennia. These were tough SOBs who would probably say, “Drinks blood? So what? Had bloodsicles for breakfast since I ran out of whiskey.”

By taking the sheer toughness of Alaskans and pairing it with a long native story-telling tradition (What else are you going to do when it’s 0 degrees Kelvin outside?), you get tough hombres facing off scary tough hombres in an epic hombre cage match. Only the cage is made of ice and the chill in the air will freeze your lungs.

The Dark Land ended on a relatively upbeat tone. Sure, a lot of people were dead, but it looked like the enemy had been pushed back across the 39th parallel and things would calm down for a while. In the fine tradition of sequels everywhere, in The Devil’s Valley we find that while the Tailed Men may have been pushed back, they were by no means down for the count. They come roaring – well, snarling, snapping, and chittering – back with vengeance in their dark little hearts.

Like The Dark Land before it, The Devil’s Valley is a terse thriller. It gives us believable characters stuck in a horrifying situation, but it’s not weighed down by subplots or other malarkey. Think of it as the Ariel Atom of horror stories. Pure, lean, mean, and ready to rip your flesh off. Which, frankly, is how horror stories should be. It fills in some details about the Tailed Men’s motives and expands on their general nasty demeanor while also giving us a bit of backstory about how this isn’t the first time the bastards have crawled out of their caves. The Devil’s Valley also hints at more stories to come and ends on a cliffhanger, so hopefully Shepard is hard at work in Alaska right now figuring out how to get her characters out of the pickle she left them in and also finding bigger pickles to put them back into.

Get your copy on Amazon

Follow DM Shepard on Twitter

Check out her blog

Check out her website

Five friends on a winter fishing trip discover that something bites harder than the Alaskan winter. Evil places earn their names for a reason, and were never meant for humans to trespass.

Rose and Ulrik must make a choice—return to the safety of civilization, or save the ones they love.

On the heels of their near-death battle with the legendary Tailed-Men at the Headless Ravine, Rose and Ulrik face a new challenge. The dead walk in the icy forest; leaving nightmares in their wake. Voices whisper in the darkness, driving people to question their sanity. Surrounded by monsters in a vast wilderness, the psychological warfare is now worse than the creatures’ obsidian claws and whip-like tails. When a group of their close friends on a winter camping trip are the next targets of the Tailed Men, Rose and Ulrik will risk everything to save them.

The answers to defeating the Tailed-Men hide behind the jade grin of an ancient and mysterious golden skull, and time is running out to unlock its secrets and save their friends. It’s a treacherous race against time and darkness to reach the north side of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park to a remote place known as:

The Devil’s Valley

The Dark Land is now waging war. The stakes are their lives…and the souls of the ones they hold dear.

#WritingTip – Forget What Those Guys Say

Stephen King has famously said get rid of adjectives and adverbs. H.P. Lovecraft used adjectives like a junkie uses crack rock. Some people tell you to only use “said” in dialogue tags while others eschew that recommendation. The world is awash with ideas about how to better your writing. Some good – read it aloud and see how it flows – others not so good – write exactly like this guy.

I’m not dumping on Stephen King. I actually enjoy his work and have been reading him for decades. H.P. Lovecraft, on the other hand, is one of those writers who had stupendous ideas that have survived the test of time but whose writing makes me want to pull my brain out. Frankly, I feel Lovecraft tried too hard to set the same morose tone with everything he wrote, but that’s just my opinion and nearly 100 years after his death people are still reading him so take my opinion with a grain of salt. The differences aren’t necessarily based on adjective or adverb use, though; they’re purely stylistic choices each author made or evolved into over time. And I know plenty of people who think Lovecraft was a genius while they feel King’s writing falls flat. Comme ci comme ça.

A couple of years ago there was a new writer on Twitter posting about how no one was reading his book because his writing style wasn’t popular. By not popular, I mean it was like reading stereo instructions: Dense, flat, and about as exciting as watching eggs boil. When I and a few others pointed out that he could always change, he wailed that he couldn’t change. I think in the end he really expected everyone else to change and appreciate the sublime majesty of his deeply underrated prose.

I don’t know that he ever changed and it’s entirely possible he’s still out there somewhere screaming into the void. Of course, it’s also possible he got picked up and turned into a Netflix series. You can never really tell these days.

This is just my take on it, but if you’re writing a book you’re the one writing the book. Sure, you can follow advice of others and, in some cases it might be a good idea, but it’s your book and you’re the one who’s got the final say. You may have that story kicking around in your head. It may be filled with alien sex and dive bars and getting drunk in alleys while pros lament about their latest job in the back seat of someone’s busted-ass Chevy Cruze. Or maybe it has puppies banding together to save the neighborhood from the hated cats. Whatever is in that book is your story and it deserves the respect that comes from you writing it. Like you you. Not half-assed clone of Stephen King or H.P. Lovecraft you, the real you. And if that means you’ve got a bag of adjectives at your feet, feel free to toss those suckers into the mix and see what happens. If it sucks, change it. Especially if people tell you it reads like VCR instructions. But don’t start down the path by limiting yourself to someone else’s ideas about what makes “good writing”.

We’ve already got those guys out there. We don’t need clones of them. What we need is your story in your voice on your timetable. Who knows, maybe your voice will be the next big thing and you’ll get to write your own theories on writing. But you’ll never know unless you find your own way and follow it.

WATWB – Your Monthly Shot Of News That Doesn’t Suck

My dog got sick this week. Run down, runs, waking us up all night long to go to the bathroom, the whole nine yards. Turns out he ate a strip of plastic something he found in the yard. He’s not what you’d call “bright” or a “picky eater”.

Our dogs are basset mixes – one a bagel hound and the other a bassador. While you wouldn’t guess it from two short dogs, they incredibly strong and extremely fast when they find something they’re interested in. They also have noses that can scent things from miles away. And if that something is food, they’ll track it to the ends of the Earth. Back in our old neighborhood, someone tossed a box of donuts by the side of the road. Donut abuse, I know, but it’s Albuquerque so we were mostly happy no one shot the donuts and stole their box. That damned box of donuts sat by the side of the road for weeks and every time we walked by on the opposite side of the street, the dogs would lunge toward it.

This is not to say they wouldn’t go for other things, too. In fact, at one point or another, they’ve manage to seize:

  • An alley sandwich
  • A roadside tortilla
  • A piece of fried chicken in an alley
  • Random crunchy things they find in the rocks

Those things were inhaled before we could get them away. And our dogs are well fed and get treats. Still, dogs are dogs and they’ll go for anything.

So, imagine what it takes to get a dog emaciated knowing full well they’ll eat literally anything. That’s the story Ethan, who was found emaciated and dying in shelter parking lot. Fortunately for Ethan, he was nursed back to health and is now living his best life as a dog beer taster with a 20k/yr salary, pet insurance, and all the dog beer he can drink.

It’s a rags to riches story you can only find in America. Although, to be fair, I’m still waiting for my opportunity to be a professional beer drinker. As long as it’s good beer. Unlike dogs, I’m snooty about beer and you’d best keep that IPA crap away from me.

The other side of the story is: Yes, there is such a thing as dog beer. Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, dog beer is a non-alcoholic blend of stuff doggos dig and, contrary to my dogs’ taste in things, it doesn’t include two-week old soggy donuts, alley sandwiches, roadside tortillas, or alley chicken. Come to think of it, maybe walking them down alleys wasn’t my greatest idea ever.

Dog beer is pork butt, vegetables, basil, mint, turmeric, and ginger, in case you were wondering. Feeding regular beer to dogs is still not recommended. Although, I guess, as long as he’s spending his own money on it, Ethan can probably kick back with an Imperial Stout every now and then as one does.

Check out the story here.

If you’d like to connect your blog and help spread a little joy (or snark, like I do), it’s easy to sign up. Just ask and ye shall receive. Or go check it out here: here.

Our lovely and talented hosts this month are: Susan Scott and yours truly (my, how the numbers are falling).

1. Keep your post to below 500 words, as much as possible. (Wow, I totally missed that mark this time around).
2. All we ask is you link to a human news story on your blog on the last Friday of each month, one that shows love, humanity and brotherhood.
3. Join us on the last Friday of each month in sharing news that warms the cockles of our heart. No story is too big or small, as long as it goes beyond religion and politics, into the core of humanity.
4. Place the WE ARE THE WORLD Badge on your sidebar, and help us spread the word on social media. Tweets, Facebook shares, G+ shares using the #WATWB hashtag through the month most welcome. More Blogfest signups mean more friends, love and light for all of us.
5. We’ll read and comment on each others’ posts, get to know each other better, and hopefully, make or renew some friendships with everyone who signs on as participants in the coming months.
6. To sign up, add your link in WE ARE THE WORLD Linky List below.
This is a Blog Hop!
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

And now, your moment of Zen:

Book Review – Land of Allusions by Andrew Davie

There are a couple things you need to do if you want to pull readers into a memoir. You can be famous – see almost every celebrity ever – or you can be good at writing – something a lot of celebrity memoirs lack. You can also be interesting. Again, something sorely missing from most celebrity memoirs. “On the set of x, y happened and omg isn’t that hilarious?” No, not really, but I wasn’t there so don’t take my word for how funny it was.

One of the things I do find interesting is stories from regular people. After all the billionaires and jokesters who manage to skate through life, finding someone who can tell a story – really tell a story – about dating or getting a first job, or suffering a debilitating brain aneurism is a breath of fresh air. These are things we’ve all done. Well, maybe not the aneurysm part; those things are thankfully rare. Surviving one is even rarer and it’s interesting to see the take a person who doesn’t necessarily have access to a team of highly trained research doctors has to say about it.

A lot of Land of Allusions is broken into snippets. Rather than large blocks of dense narrative, we get text messages back and forth, or letters, little bits of information that, on their own, don’t amount to much. But when you take a bunch of little bits of information and arrange them with all the patience of a master ikebanaist, you get a whole, cohesive story that sneaks into your psyche.

I won’t spoil the ending other than to say he wrote the memoir, so Andrew Davie managed to get on Lady Luck’s good side and stay there. Beyond that, you’ll just have to read it.

Land of Allusions will be released on June 29, 2021, but you can preorder it here.

Land of Allusions follows Andrew Davie as he negotiates life’s various pitfalls while making pop culture references. Whether he’s comparing his online dating experiences to Seinfeld’s George Costanza, discussing how the film Platoon is the perfect analogy for teaching, or finding solace within the pages of the books of Buddhist nun Pema Chodron during ruptured brain aneurysm recovery. Split into two sections: comedy and tragedy, you’ll discover the joy or sadness in any of these moments is just a matter of perspective.

Check out Andrew’s Facebook page, Twitter feed, Instagram, and website.

#WATWB – Your Monthly Shot of News That Doesn’t Suck

There’s a lot of good stuff going on in the world right now. COVID vaccines are rolling out. Evil chihuahuas are getting adopted. Trump is still not president. New Mexico will reopen fully once 60% of the state population is vaccinated. Considering we’re at 41% right now, the projected opening is the end of June or so. Also, we ditched the outdoor mask requirement, so now I can ride my bike without fogging up my glasses. Here’s hoping the anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers don’t completely fuck up everything for us like they have so many times in the past.

Let’s not throw our shoulders out patting ourselves on the back, though. The Cronizzle is still out there and there are hotspots – Michigan and India come to mind. What’s worse, now that the virus is in the environment and mutating like mad, it’s going to be with us for a long time. Probably forever. Fortunately, new treatments and vaccines are likely to take the edge off the little bastard.

I got my second shot toward the end of March. Pfizer pfor the win, I guess. Still no superpowers, no mutations, no voices in my head, no microchips. In a way, it’s kind of disappointing because a third arm would mean I could keep both hands on the keyboard and still use my mouse. Talk about multitasking.

Anyway, there’s still a lot of research to be done on the little bugger, but new technologies and techniques are being developed to deal with it. Including another Pfizer treatment in pill form. Some of the updates are a long way off, but rest assured we can beat this. In the interim, keep yourselves and others around you safe. Wear a mask and wash your hands; it ain’t rocket surgery. Some day, we’ll look back on all this and-well, probably not laugh because a lot of people are dead and Covid brought the world to its knees. So let’s just say, some day we’ll look back on this and hope like hell it doesn’t happen again.

If you’d like to connect your blog and help spread a little joy (or snark, like I do), it’s easy to sign up. Just ask and ye shall receive. Or go check it out here: here.

Our lovely and talented hosts this month are: Belinda Witzenhausen and Sylvia McGrath.

1. Keep your post to below 500 words, as much as possible. (Wow, I totally missed that mark this time around).
2. All we ask is you link to a human news story on your blog on the last Friday of each month, one that shows love, humanity and brotherhood.
3. Join us on the last Friday of each month in sharing news that warms the cockles of our heart. No story is too big or small, as long as it goes beyond religion and politics, into the core of humanity.
4. Place the WE ARE THE WORLD Badge on your sidebar, and help us spread the word on social media. Tweets, Facebook shares, G+ shares using the #WATWB hashtag through the month most welcome. More Blogfest signups mean more friends, love and light for all of us.
5. We’ll read and comment on each others’ posts, get to know each other better, and hopefully, make or renew some friendships with everyone who signs on as participants in the coming months.
6. To sign up, add your link in WE ARE THE WORLD Linky List below.
This is a Blog Hop!
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

And now, your moment of Zen:

Roadside Attractions is free

Go get a free book. To celebrate my impending freedom from KDP Select, Roadside Attractions is 100% free until Wednesday. You can’t beat that price.

A piece of hell is hiding in a tiny Arizona town…

During a not-so-routine investigation into a haunting, a pair of ghost hunters receive a strange text message beckoning them to Dragoon, Arizona. The message promises them a ghost unlike any they’ve ever met and riches galore for investigating the entity. They find the ghost, but more sinister forces are lurking in the town and soon the ghost-hunters – and the ghost they were sent to hunt – find themselves caught between a renegade devil and the hitwoman sent from hell to stop him.

With time running out and no one to turn to, they’ll have to dig deep into science, magic, and themselves to stop a great evil from awakening or the world will suffer an eternity of darkness.

A tale of good, evil, and everything in between is about to unfold at one of the country’s most mysterious ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS.

Get it here

An Old Short Story

Back in the heady days of yore, ghost hunting shows were pretty popular. Filmed largely in glorious green night-vision, they usually featured people running around, pointing weird-looking things at shadows, and rattling off inane ghost-babble about spirits and the unknown rules that guided them. Knock on some tables, shout out some names, beg the invisible spirit to talk to you. It was like a Zoom conference before Zoom conferences were cool.

In the end, there was never any definitive proof. But there was a lot of cool-looking chicanery going on, so they were usually fun to watch. I gather the real paranormal investigation and elimination experts are much more down to Earth and far less likely to wear too-tight polo shirts and an overabundance of jewelry.

The one thing I always thought would be fun to see is if one of those shows actually did find something terrifyingly tangible and it bit ’em on the ass. Imagine the serious-looking beefcake prattling on about this, that, or the other thing and whatever they were searching for just flat-out mopped the floor with them.

Ratings gold, Jerry. Ratings gold.

Anyway, that thought turned into a short story about a guy who kills his wife and then uses her spirit as a kind of home security system because he’s a right bastard and the kind of guy who does stuff like that. Years later, a television ghost-hunting team shows up to his mansion and finds out the hard way she’s still kicking around. This story was originally published in Kyanite Press’s Halloween Spooktacular a few years ago. Kyanite, unfortunately, has gone the way of the dodo and a sane Republican party, so the story has been lost to ages. Since it’s already been published, most ‘zines won’t touch it. Also, I realized recently that I think I’m the only writer on the planet who hasn’t posted any his own fiction on his blog. Bad jokes, grammatical errors, and random babblings, sure. But never a short story.

Here’s a fun fact about Security System: It was the prototype for what ultimately became Roadside Attractions. People who’ve read both will recognize a few names here and there. Even though the short story is different from the book, this is Roadside’s DNA.

Security System – by Eric Lahti

“I command you to show yourself!” he said in his best serious voice. “Talk to me. Tell me what happened to make you stay.”

Vincent Kindig wore a too tight polo shirt with the collar popped up and the buttons undone to show off his necklace collection. He closed his eyes and raised his hands up as if beseeching the dark room to talk to him. “Please,” he cried out. “Show yourself.”

A faint humming sound slowly filled the room. Vincent clenched his fists. A hint of a smile flashed across his lips before he remembered where he was and his serious face dropped back into place. “Hello, Lindy,” he said. “Tell us why you’re here.”

The light, already low in the old mansion, flicked off. The silver light pouring through the window, illuminated Vincent’s angular features. He held his stance, but frowned. One eye opened and looked around. His hands dropped like rocks and he growled under his breath.

“We’re working on it, Vincent,” a voice said from the darkness.

Vincent closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and slowly let it out. He counted to ten, skipping seven because he felt the number seven was unlucky. When he opened his eyes, the lights were still out.

“Guys!” he said. “Come on!”

“Sorry, Vincent,” a woman replied. “We still trying to figure out what happened.”

“Get the lights back on,” Vincent said. “We are on the clock and the studio is already pissed off that we haven’t found a ghost.”

“There was that thing in Tulsa,” a man said. “I’ve got footage of the chairs moving around. How was that not a ghost?”

“Fred, come on. Any idiot with a computer could have cobbled that footage together. The studio wants something tangible. They want something indisputable. They want a real ghost.”

“It was a real ghost,” Fred started. He looked around the room and rolled his eyes. “It was a real ghost. That’s all I’m saying. It was there.”

“I know it was there, Fred,” Vincent said. “I saw it, too. We’ve all been around paranormal activities and ghosts and the odd demon before, but guess what, kids; studying doesn’t pay the bills. We need the studio to be happy or we can all kiss it goodbye and go back to living in a van.”

“Down by the river,” the woman said in a sing-song voice.

“Charlotte, now is not the time,” Vincent said. “We need to get this going. Now. You’re the technical whiz, make this stuff work.”

Charlotte and Fred busied themselves crawling around, following the tangled mass of cables that ran in like piles of spaghetti along the floor. Vincent sighed and fingered the heavy necklaces around his neck. The rings on his fingers–a mixture of various occult symbols and skulls–were the studio’s idea, but each of the necklaces had significance to him. He found them in each town where things had…happened. Tulsa, Portales, Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Denver, Mesa. Each time he touched the spectral world, someone left him a gift on his nightstand.

The room they were set up in was a dilapidated mess at best. The wallpaper was curled on the edges, pulled away from the wall and yellowed like old leaves. If houses had seasons, this one was in the dead of winter. He wanted to yell at Fred and Charlotte, but they were the best in the business and the wiring in this house was a total wreck. The fact that they managed to make it work at all was a miracle.

The studio guys, hired hands from some union or another, put down their boom mics and walked out the door, smoking and laughing. Vincent recognized them as a necessary evil, even if they were total dicks.

“Found it, Vincent,” Charlotte called out. “A line burned out. Let me splice some things together and get a fuse on this line before the whole house goes up in flames. Give me five minutes.”

“Thanks, Char. Take your time. Those union guys are on one of their mandated thirty-minute breaks they have to take every hour. Might as well slow down and be sure.”

Charlotte shook her head slowly. “You got it, boss.”

She scampered out to the van to collect some magic from her big box of tricks. Vincent watched her go thoughtfully. It was so much easier when it was just the three of them living in the van and hunting down everything that went bump in the night. Sure, it was tedious and they often had to beg for food, but they didn’t have to worry about appeasing guys in suits; all they had to do was find the ghosts and document them.

“Think there’s something here, Vincent?” Fred asked from the shadows.

Vincent shook his head. “I don’t know. Some studio bigwig picked this place out because of its history and a connection to some rich old guy back in the early 1900s. It doesn’t feel like anything’s here, but who knows? Half this damned country is haunted. There’s no reason this place isn’t, too.”

Fred fumbled for his flashlight. When he turned it on and shone it around the room, Vincent had to admit the place looked like a classic haunted house. Everything was shot to hell, but it was obvious this mansion had been worth a pretty penny back in the days of robber barons and cars that went, “Ah oogah” when they honked. Now it was a mass of rot and broken furniture.

“Shithole,” Fred mumbled. “Just once I’d like to investigate a place with a big TV, a hot tub, and a bikini team.”

“No kidding,” Vincent agreed. “A haunted steak house with an expansive menu of whisky would be nice, too.”

“Why the hell didn’t they fix this place up?”

Vincent shrugged. “Who knows. Maybe no one thought it was worth the effort. Or maybe the ghost scared them off.”

The lights came back on with an audible pop a few moments before Charlotte bounced into the room. She took a look around, nodded, and struck a dance pose. “Ta da!”

Fred hugged her and planted a sloppy, wet kiss on the side of her face. “You’re a genius, my love.”

Vincent smiled, even as he felt empty inside. His team was happy and that was all that mattered, even if he did pine away for someone to care for. “Call the studio guys back and let’s get this rolling. All this talk of steaks has made me hungry.”


“It amazes me that in the Year of Our Lord, 1917, there are still people out there who feel the law should be applied equally to all. Obviously, there are those of us who must do what we must do to ensure the smooth running of this fine country of ours. War or no war, this is the modern age and antiquated notions such as justice and freedom must be weighed on a spectrum. The only important trait that could – and should – influence that spectrum is success. By that weight alone, we can determine a fellow’s worth. Everything else is shoddy bookkeeping.”

“Yes, sir,” Ernest Fodor said. “I agree wholeheartedly. The mere idea that a pauper on the streets should have the same rights as myself – or worse, yourself – is antithetical to functioning of Democracy.”

Mr. Oldenfold, Kurt to his mother and only his mother, leaned forward and tapped an ivory-handled cane gently on the floor. He wasn’t an old man, but five decades of relentless hunting and hoarding of wealth had left him desiccated and soulless. “Quite right,” he said, waving one hand around the room, “This paranormal, supernatural mumbo-jumbo is quite outside my realm of expertise, but I have been known to consult with a psychic from time to time. She has proven correct more times than science can account for and I, therefore, trust her skills. Your first advice to my problem was accurate, so it would seem money must change hands and it will be time for phase two.”

Ernest Fodor paled. He looked around his office and took in the hastily scrawled notes and fuzzy pictures of spirits that obscured his walls. His was a working office and, while the images on the walls helped to seduce customers, all his work was out in the open for all to see.

It was all true, too. Every last note, every last picture, every last newspaper clipping. He had seen them all, but he lacked the funding for proper research. For that, he would need a wealthy patron. A patron like Mr. Kurt Oldenfold. The mining magnate was reputed to be worth millions. If he could solve Mr. Oldenfold’s problem, it might mean getting a grant to continue.

Unfortunately, the price was looking steeper and steeper with each passing moment.

“Then…then it worked?” Fodor whispered.

“Quite well, my boy,” Oldenfold replied. The corner of his lip curled up slightly and Fodor hoped the man didn’t just sprain a facial muscle attempting to smile. “Your trap was fiendishly clever in its simplicity. It worked like a charm.”

“May I ask the details, sir?” Fodor asked, hoping against hope that this was all a joke.

Oldenfold snapped his fingers and a manservant in a severe black suit placed a case on Fodor’s desk. Inside the case, nestled in silk, was an empty crystal glass jar with a candle in it. Fodor stared at the jar. “May I?” he asked, motioning at the jar.

The smug look returned to Oldenfold’s face. “Of course.”

Fodor gently picked up the jar with hands slick with sweat. Inside was nothing more than melted wax and the dark remains of a wick. He prayed to a god he swore he’d never trust and peered closely. As he twisted the jar around, it hit a stray bit of sunlight and his heart stopped.

She was in there. Oldenfold had really done it. A tiny spark of light repeatedly threw itself at the wall of the jar. It was like watching a lightning bug bouncing off a window.

“My poor wife died last night from poison,” Oldenfold said with obviously fake sorrow. “I had the constabulary take in two of my servants. They never got along with my wife and, well, you know how the Irish can be. Needless to say, I am heartbroken.”

“Of course,” Fodor replied distantly. “She was the love of your life.”

“The very reason for me to go on living.”

It was all lies. Pretty lies, but lies nonetheless. There was no doubt in Fodor’s mind that Oldenfold had killed his wife last night, but it would be improper and possibly dangerous to discuss it. That the old man had killed his wife was bad enough, but that he managed to catch his dead wife’s spirit before it could escape was nothing short of malignant.

Fodor was in no position to turn down clients, even ones as despicable as Mr. Kurt Oldenfold. Even if had the wealth to turn down Oldenfold’s request, there were other issues at play that would ensure Fodor’s cooperation. He choked back the bile rising in his throat and gently set the jar back on the table. “Are you certain you want to continue, sir?” he asked.

Oldenfold sat ramrod straight in his seat and tapped his cane twice on the floor. He flashed an evil grin that would have been right at home on the face of Satan himself. “Mr. Fodor,” he said quietly, “I did not get to my position in life by quitting when I was ahead.”

Fodor shook his head. Words wouldn’t come to him. He watched the light dejectedly bouncing off the jar and wondered if his place in Hell would be similar. “Of course not, sir,” he replied.

“Excellent,” Oldenfold continued. “You shall ply your trade and I shall continue to ply mine. In other words, you work your magic and I continue to pay you. Now, what do you need from me?”

“Nothing more, sir,” Fodor replied. His eyes were locked on the jar.

“One more thing,” Oldenfold said. “I trust she will be miserable, yes?”

Fodor nodded sadly. “I imagine so, sir.”

“Good. She tends to cry when she’s miserable. It’s a terribly irritating sound. Will I be able to hear it or is there any way you can mute it? I need my rest and have no desire to hear my ex-wife complaining.”

“No, sir,” Fodor said, shaking his head sadly. “The living cannot hear the dead.”

“But she’ll be able to do what I require of her, right?”

“Of course. If they’ve got access to energy sources like candles, ghosts can be quite capable of causing a tremendous amount of damage.”

“Wonderful news,” Oldenfold replied.

Oldenfold stood and snapped his fingers. His manservant appeared silent as the night and draped a greatcoat over Oldenfold’s stooped shoulders. “Do your best work, Mr. Fodor and no one has to know about your indiscretions, least of all that pretty wife of yours. But, I do believe in paying for services, so if you can make phase two work, you will be rewarded generously. Good day, Mr. Fodor.”

Fodor watched the door close and listened for the tell-tale rumble of the elevator before putting his head in his arms and sobbing. Through tear-stained eyes, he watched the little light smash against her impenetrable jail. Her future home would be larger, but it would still be a jail for eternity.

Love, and the sudden, treasonous loss of it, can people to move mountains in their quest for revenge.


Vincent closed his eyes and ignored the snickers from his team as he got himself back into character. When he opened his eyes, the light felt like someone poked him in the eye with a pencil. He muttered something to himself and blinked rapidly. When he was ready, he fixed the camera with his best serious stare.

For someone with no formal training in acting, Vincent was a natural, even as he felt ashamed. It wasn’t like paranormal investigators had the best reputation in the world and by acting out a role on T.V., he felt like he was hurting his brethren. But the show had to go on and his team had to eat.

“In this house, a little over a hundred years ago, a woman was poisoned by her husband, the odious Mr. Kurt Oldenfold.”

He paused briefly to give the post production guys a chance to splice in a picture of a young woman in her wedding dress. Her back was perfectly straight – whether due to her corset or the nature of people in the early 1900s, Vincent couldn’t say. She had medium brown hair that fell over her shoulders in a wave and a mischievous glint in her eyes. When he first saw the pictures of Lindy Oldenfold, Vincent’s first thought was she’d have been a handful for any guy in the 1910s. She looked free and self-determined; two traits that were frowned upon by the men of the time.

“Rumors around the town said that Lindy had an affair,” Vincent continued. “No one knew who with or, at least, they weren’t talking about it. That tight-lipped secrecy must have infuriated Kurt Oldenfold to no end. Infuriated him so much that he poisoned his wife and blamed the deed on a pair of servants. To their dying day, they pleaded their innocence to no avail.

“Everyone already knew Kurt Oldenfold had her killed, but he had the money and the power to avoid prison. Kurt lived to a ripe old age of eighty-five and passed away peacefully in his slumber.”

Vincent fixed the camera with his serious gaze. “Lindy Oldenfold is said to haunt this very house.”

A door creaked open and Vincent almost looked before he caught himself and kept focused on the camera. It was probably just a draft or the house settling after being abandoned for so long. He focused on the task at hand and the promise of dinner when the shoot was through.

He walked around the room, pointing at things and improvising stories about them. Most of the footage wouldn’t make it into the final cut, but it was nice to have choices during editing. The furniture was barely worth mentioning, but a massive bookcase held the promise of all manner of spooky stories.

“In 1917, a library like this was the purview of the extremely wealthy. Books were common, but leather-bound editions like these were a rarity. Legend has it that Lindy herself picked out this bookcase and all the books on it.”

He motioned to the tattered remains of an old chaise lounge and, just for an instant, saw a young woman stretched out reading a book. She looked directly at him and winked. Vincent shook his head and blinked his eyes.

“You alright, J?” Charlotte called from the darkness.

“Yeah,” Fred added, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

When Vincent looked back at the chaise lounge, it was empty. “Just getting hungry,” he called out. “We need to wrap this up so we can chow down.”

He took a moment to get back into character and continued. “If the bookcase was Lindy’s, and most people agree Kurt Oldenfold wasn’t a reader, it would explain why the rest of the house is trashed, but the books are still in remarkable condition.”

His fingers brushed the redwood case as he pretended to look at the titles. There was nothing there worth worrying about, save for a broken jar and a picture of Lindy reading a book in the chaise lounge right next to him. That had to be it, he subconsciously saw the picture and projected her image.

“If Lindy does still haunt this mansion, she obviously still has a fondness for her books,” Vincent told the camera, “But what of Kurt Oldenfold? While it’s true that he died in his sleep, Oldenfold spent the remainder of his life complaining about the Irish and trying to convince people his wife’s death wasn’t his fault. He eventually became a recluse.”

Vincent started to wrap up his opening monologue, anxious to get down to the part where he and his team set up their tools and engaged in witty banter about ghosts and ghost hunting. Most of the audience would think it was fake, but every story they told was real. Humans have an amazing capacity to ignore evidence that runs contrary to their world view.

Charlotte was desperately signaling him to go on, to keep talking. Normally, Vincent didn’t have any problem talking about a haunted place or a ghost, but the vision of Lindy smiling and winking at him had rattled his nerves. He’d run into ghosts before, but nothing that seemed as real as her.

He reached into his mind, trying to remember the little factoids about the house that he’d read even before they set foot in Oldenfold Manor. Vincent shook his head to dislodge the vision of Lindy.

“The house itself has a grisly history,” Vincent continued. “It was built in the late 1800s by an eccentric architect by the name Niko Grosser. Grosser had a fascination with the esoteric and the paranormal. It was his dream to build a house that no ghost could enter. To that end, he lined the walls with copper mesh and crystals. The mansion has eleven bedrooms, four bathrooms – plus one for the staff – two dining rooms, this library, and a kitchen.

“It’s also the scene, or suspected scene, of half a dozen unsolved murders. After Oldenfold became a recluse, some criminals tried to break in. None of them were ever heard from again and the house’s reputation as a Death House made.

“A murderous ghost. That’s what we’re here to look for tonight.”


“He never loved her, he only wanted to possess her. Now he wants to punish her for all eternity. But I’m going to turn the tables,” Fodor told his assistant.

The assistant, a young man by the name of Felix, adjusted his round spectacles and nodded slowly. “Do you think it’s wise to double cross a man like Mr. Oldenfold?”

“Kurt, Felix,” Fodor said. “Call him Kurt. He hates it, but it makes him more human. He’s not a god, he’s just a man with far too much money.”

“Kurt,” Felix whispered to himself, as if by saying the name out loud he’d call down the wrath of the dreaded Mr. Oldenfold.

“Out loud, Felix. Just try it out.”

“Kurt,” Felix said again, this time a little louder. He nervously looked around the room while Fodor chuckled.

“Waiting for the lightning to strike or the constables to break down the door?”

Felix looked around again and said, “No, sir. It’s just. Well, I’ve never heard anyone say Mr. Oldenfold’s first name. I didn’t even know he had one. When I was a little boy, I assumed his first name was Mister.”

Fodor laughed out loud and Felix shrunk in his seat. “I’m sorry, Felix. I’m not laughing at you; I’m laughing at all of us. We give these guys too much power and they think money makes them immune to retribution. Kurt thinks he can get away with murder and pin the death of his wife on two innocent men. The system lets that happen because the men are Irish. Kurt didn’t just kill his wife, he destroyed two other lives to cover up his crime.”

“And that…light in the jar is her, isn’t it?” Felix asked. He peered closely at the jar on the work table. “I can sometimes make out her shape. I expected her to be bigger, though. Aren’t ghosts supposed to be the same size as people?”

A sad look crossed Fodor’s face. “That was a trick I taught him. If I’d known he intended to trap his own wife’s spirit, I never would have agreed to it. I would have taught him some phony trick from India or China. She’d still be dead, but she’d be free.”

“How does it work?” Felix asked.

Fodor didn’t want to talk about it, but the young man deserved an explanation if he was going to continue investigating the paranormal. People didn’t like to admit it, but a large amount of science went into ghost hunting.

“Ghosts are pure energy. I haven’t been able to conclusively prove that they’re souls, but I do know they’re nothing more than energy and they need to find ways to regenerate that energy, just like we eat food to keep ourselves alive. One way is to not do much. An idle ghost can go years without replenishing their energy. Another way, and the one they usually resort to, is to suck energy out of the air around them. That’s why it gets so cold when a ghost is nearby; they’re pulling the energy out of the air. Usually when that happens, they’re about to do something terrible.”

Felix flipped open his notebook and rapidly started writing. “I’m sorry, sir, I really am paying attention to you; I just don’t want to forget this information. It’s not like…well, there are no schools or quality books for what we do.”

“It’s okay, Felix. You’re correct, we do need to compile this information for the future. Now, where was I?”

“Pulling energy out of the air.”

“Right!” Fodor said, snapping his fingers. “Ghosts need energy to manifest and they have to get it from somewhere. It’s been my experience that they’re inextricably drawn to most forms of energy. A simple candle, Felix. Fire gives off energy and ghosts soak it up. Put a candle in a crystal jar and your ghost will not be able to resist the flame. All that energy. All that warmth. They have trouble moving through crystal, though, so it’s the perfect trap. Did you know that Felix?”

“About the crystal, sir. No, sir, I did not.”

Fodor smiled to himself, pleased with his protégé’s desire to absorb information. In his business, Fodor had found an insatiable appetite for knowledge was necessary to not only thrive, but sometimes just to survive. “It’s true. I discovered that secret in a chamber in China. They had rows of crystal jars, each with its own tiny ball of energy flitting back and forth. But, I digress. All Oldenfold would have to do was find any piece of sealable crystal and place a candle in it. His wife’s spirit would head straight for the flame. Then, put the lid on and the ghost is secure.”

Felix reached a hand out to touch the crystal jar with the spirit of Oldenfold’s wife in it, but pulled his hands back at the last moment. “She’s really in there?”

“She’s really in there,” Fodor replied. “And when she gets out she is going to be none too happy.”

“Why would Mr. Oldenfold even want to capture his wife’s ghost? It seems despicable, if you ask me.”

“Despicable,” Fodor replied. “That’s an excellent word for describing Kurt Oldenfold. Despicable. He is a loathsome, offensive being and he has performed the most odious action I have ever heard of for the most selfish of reasons.”

Felix waited for Fodor to continue, finally resorting to motioning with his hand that the story could go on.

“Kurt Oldenfold wants to use her to guard his house and he wants me to make sure it happens correctly,” Fodor said with a sigh. “And I will do it for him.”

“Why?” Felix pleaded. “Why go on with this? Why not refuse to do the work or simply knock the jar over and let her go? Surely jars get knocked over all the time.”

Ernest Fodor’s shoulders slumped. He sank in on himself in pity and shame. “I have done a terrible thing, Felix. If you want to learn from me, learn this: never do terrible things where those with power can see. People with power will use any advantage they have to get more power. I am Kurt Oldenfold’s tool.”

“What did you do?” Felix asked, mesmerized.

“Nothing much,” Fodor replied breezily. “Just consigned my soul to Hell and created a special Hell for Lindy to exist in forever.”

Felix shook his head. “No, before that. Why does Mister, er, Kurt Oldenfold have power over you?”

“I am but a man, Felix. With a man’s needs and a man’s desires. You should learn that, too. All men are slaves to their desires.”

“You were caught with another man’s wife, weren’t you?”

Fodor nodded and put his head in his hands. “The Senator’s wife. He’s a good man, she’s a good woman. Oldenfold threatened to go to the papers. The scandal would destroy the Senator’s career and his wife’s life.”

Felix slumped back in his chair whistling softly.

“Indeed,” Fodor replied. “She was quite taken with my research. Her station in life means she can never pursue it herself, which is a pity; she’d make an amazing researcher. I tried to let her live vicariously through mine, give her some measure of the life she wanted.”

“Things lead to each other,” Felix said quietly.

“More than once,” Fodor said with a sad smile. “And now dear Lindy Oldenfold is paying the price for my sins.”

Felix listened attentively, soaking in this side of his boss that he’d never seen before. “It’s not your fault,” he said.

“Oh, but it is, dear Felix,” Fodor replied. “But I have a plan. A wonderful, terrible plan. Oldenfold wants his wife to be a security system for his house and I can make that happen. It will be forever, unfortunately, but Kurt Oldenfold won’t get away completely clean like he always does.”

“Are you going to the police?”

Fodor reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a gem necklace. “This is a ward I found in Bombay. It keeps the spirit world from seeing you. Ghosts are notoriously territorial and can be fiercely violent beings when their territory is threatened or when they find something they want. Lindy will likely be even more so due to the nature of her demise. She’ll make a truly terrifying security system; one that has no qualms about killing. As long as Oldenfold is wearing or holding this necklace, she won’t be able to see him. It will be even worse for her, knowing something is out there, but not being able to see it, but that little trick won’t work forever.”

“How do you mean?”

Fodor grinned and all the powers of Hell flashed through his eyes. “The necklace will protect him while he’s wearing it, but he won’t be wearing it when he’s dead. Whatever you’re holding when you die comes across with you. There’s no way Oldenfold will be gripping that necklace when he dies, he’ll think wearing it is enough, but it has to be in your hands when you die or it gets left behind. Once he dies, the necklace stays behind and Lindy finds his spirit, she’ll pounce on him and hold him with her forever. Kurt Oldenfold might have gotten away with murder, but he’ll never get away from Lindy.”


The lights went out again, suddenly bathing the room in darkness. Vincent swore under his breath before forcing himself to calm down. “Charlotte, can you check the lines again?”

“Already on it, boss,” came the fading reply.

“Next time, we’re bringing our own power supply,” Fred said. “This is ridiculous.”

Vincent snorted. “Remember that time in Santa Fe? That ghost that always turned out the lights?”

“You think we’ve got one of those?” Fred asked.

As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, Vincent picked out Fred’s form. The man was tinkering with some equipment, probably replacing a motherboard by touch alone. Fred could be caustic, but he knew his electronics better than almost anyone else.

“Dunno,” Vincent mumbled. “These old places had terrible wiring. They were meant to run desk lamps and AM radios.”

Vincent looked back to find Fred’s shadow standing perfectly still. “What’s wrong?”

Fred held up a hand and quietly shushed him. “I heard a thump.

“Wow, a thump,” Vincent said. “I hope you got it on tape.”

“Shhh,” Fred hissed. “Someone’s coming and it doesn’t sound like Char.”

Vincent tip-toed across the room and stood directly in front of Fred. Together, they strained their ears for any sign of Charlotte. There it was, a faint shuffling step coming closer to the library. “See,” Vincent said, “It’s just Charlotte.”

The faint step resolved into a cacophony of louder, faster steps. Vincent tensed. Ghosts didn’t charge often – it took too much energy – so when they did bad things tended to follow. “Remember Flagstaff?” Vincent whispered.

“How could I forget?” Fred whispered back, barely audible over the pounding steps. “I thought we were going to finally have conclusive evidence that we’d never be able to share with the living.”

A light bobbed and danced in the hallway, growing brighter as the footsteps got closer. The light looked…off…somehow, as if it was coming from everywhere and nowhere. Vincent took a step back and saw Fred take a hesitant step forward. He cursed himself for being a coward. After everything he’d seen and done, it wasn’t like him to worry like this. Fred was doing the right thing, trying to protect Charlotte as Vincent tried to protect his own skin.

Vincent absently rubbed the goosebumps forming on his skin. No matter how many ghosts he’d been around, there was something inherently terrifying about them. All around them the air felt electrified. It crackled and popped like a switching station after a rain storm, as if all the energy in the room wanted to go home and it didn’t care who it had to go through to get there.

“Char?” Fred called out. He looked at Vincent pleadingly.

Vincent shrugged. His stomach clenched and rumbled. He wanted to run far away from this place and bury himself in tightly tucked-in blankets until the world died down.

He choked down his sense of doom and said, “It’s almost here.”

The thundering echo of footfalls reverberated around the dilapidated house. The air grew colder, raising goosebumps on Vincent’s arms. They set out to look for a ghost and one found them, something the likes of which Vincent had never felt before.

The light grew to blinding levels. Vincent covered his eyes and looked away, wondering if this was going to be his last moment. Ghosts that could kill were rare, but not unheard of.

“Lot of mirrors in that hallway. The power’s fixable,” Charlotte said, “but that’s not the cool thing. She’s here! She’s really here!”

“Char?” Fred asked.

Charlotte flicked off the light on her head and mumbled, “Sorry, guys, forgot about the light. But we need to get a camera downstairs. I just saw her clear as day. Lindy’s here! She’s here. She’s…”

She stopped and pointed. “Char, are you okay?” Fred asked.

“Oh, shit,” Charlotte mumbled. “Vincent, she’s right behind you and she looks pissed.”


Kurt Oldenfold’s fingers gripped the ruby-red amulet around his neck. Whatever magic that Fodor fellow had created had worked. Lindy couldn’t see him, but he’d seen her plenty of times. She prowled the house scowling and looking for a way out. But the doors and windows wouldn’t open to her touch and she couldn’t push through the walls of the house.

Oldenfold went about his life as if nothing had happened. He accepted the flowers and letters and condolences from people he barely tolerated with a sad smile and nod of his head. Never the most popular of people to begin with, no one noticed his slow retreat from the world. His wealth grew, his power grew, and his disdain for the world grew along with them. As far as most people were concerned, Kurt Oldenfold carried on just like someone who had lost his wife.

The truth was, though, that no one cared one whit about Kurt Oldenfold’s feelings. They were sad for Lindy. She was the one thing about him that made his presence tolerable. Everyone knew she had cheated on him and no one could blame her. Just like everyone knew the Irish servants were innocent, but no one could prove it.

Wealth and power had once again conspired to get away with murder and Kurt Oldenfold couldn’t be happier. He had proven his might once again by not only killing his wife, but by continuing to punish her forever.

Lindy was far from happy. Oldenfold sometimes watched her ghost throw itself repeatedly against the walls and doors before it collapsed in a silently sobbing heap on the floor. Her sorrow gave way to frustration, which eventually evolved into full-on anger.

Over time, her rage became palpable. Her inability to interact with the house caused her no end of grief. For a time, Oldenfold thought it was poetic justice. She had no right to cheat on him, let alone with a commoner, and an eternity stuck in a house that he’d had built for her seemed appropriate. Lindy always loved her little library, even if all she ever wanted to read was poetry or some such drivel. Books and poems were more interesting to her than he was and Oldenfold chuckled to himself when he saw her ghost desperately trying and failing to pull a book from the shelves.

Her mind, whatever that meant for a ghost, was cracking bit by bit. She would vanish for weeks on end, only to appear at the foot of his bed at three o’clock in the morning. A sad smile played on her lips while rage burned in her eyes. Ghosts, it would seem, could maintain multiple emotions at the same time. Or maybe they were just better at showing them.

For decades Oldenfold and Lindy’s ghost were the only people in the mansion. His naturally caustic personality drove people away and he wasn’t given to throwing elaborate parties. So, it was twenty years after her death that Lindy finally saw another person.

Crime’s dirty eyes had finally landed on the Oldenfold Estate. A pair of young men, driven to desperate acts by poverty, had watched Kurt Oldenfold’s comings and goings with interest for weeks. It was just the old man in there. Easy pickings and a mansion probably full of gold.

Oldenfold was drifting in his reading chair when he heard glass break on the front door. His heart pounded in his chest. He reached for a fire poker and rose on shaky legs. No matter who had dared to enter his sanctum, they would pay dearly for the trespass. What was his was his. He had earned it and no one had the right to take it away from him.

Lindy found them first. Oldenfold found her ghost standing over their corpses. He couldn’t tell how she did it, but their faces were frozen in terror and pain. With a flick of her head, she disappeared through a wall, leaving Oldenfold to deal with the two men. Anyone else would have had trouble dealing with two bodies, but all he had to do was grease the right palms and point out the intruders were Hispanic and everything was taken care of.


Vincent spun in place and found Lindy’s ghost glaring at him. She wasn’t that different from her photo, but something in her eyes made her look like a changed woman, like she’d been alone too long and had realized something terrible about herself. He held up both his hands and said, “Hello.”

Lindy wavered in place, flickering like a neon light that was running out of gas. She slowly drifted toward him, eyes locked on his. Vincent wanted desperately to back up, but he didn’t want to seem afraid even though his heart was pounding in his chest.

“Lindy,” Vincent said, “a terrible wrong was done to you. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to make it right, but I’m willing to try.”

Her angry face wavered. She cocked her head to the side like a dog that didn’t understand. Her mouth moved, but no words came out. Her glowing, flickering image looked like a hologram from a bad science fiction movie.

“I can’t hear you, Lindy,” Vincent said. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”

Lindy’s face darkened. She clenched her fists and screamed silently. Her ethereal body shook with rage, flickering and wavering. The temperature in the room plummeted as she sucked all the energy out of the air. When her rage passed, she looked at Vincent and licked her lips.

He’d seen the same look on the living before, usually just before someone broke a beer bottle and tried to stab someone with it. For decades Lindy had been all alone in a house that was crumbling around her and it had pushed her to the brink. With a final sly look, she disappeared.

“What just happened?” Char asked.

Vincent shook his head like he couldn’t believe what had just happened. He spun and pointed a finger at Fred. “Tell me we had a camera running for that.”

Fred’s grin was enough of an answer. “The power was out for the mains, but you know me; I always have a backup handy.” He patted an aging, boxy camera and grinned. “I always keep this baby’s batteries charged. After Flagstaff, it just seems safer.”


People like Kurt Oldenfold didn’t die. Dying was for poor people, commoners, those on whom no newspaper would waste ink on. They entered the world, passed through without making a mark, and left without a trace, forever forgotten by all but a tenacious few.

Important people “passed on” or “shuffled off the mortal coil”. They did not do anything so plebeian as dying.

The night Oldenfold slipped free the boundaries of mortality was, appropriately, dark and stormy. Rain pelted the windows and wind shook the trees. In his mind, the rain was the tears of the world crying about his passing and the wind was a mournful wail.

He’d been sick for weeks, slowly wasting away as some rare and important disease ravaged his body. The doctor gave him laudanum. Even though the stuff made Oldenfold hallucinate, it took the pain away and replaced it with a warm sense of well-being.

Wasting away, all alone in the house that Lindy wanted, would have been torture were it not for the laudanum. With it, he saw things and experienced thoughts so profound he wanted to tell them to someone. Anyone would do. He told Lindy the things he thought about, but she never responded. Her ghost stood and stared at the bed with a sly grin on her face.

“I forgive you,” he said in a voice slurred by opium and degradation.

Lindy stared at the bed like she knew something was about to happen.

Oldenfold’s fingers slipped off his amulet as the world flickered around him. His psychic had told him the world would seem to stop when he died and not to worry about it, it was perfectly normal. It took time for his spirit to sync up with the real world. The world wasn’t what worried Oldenfold, though. Nor did the threat of judgment at the end. What worried Oldenfold was Lindy. He knew though, that as long as he had the amulet he’d be fine. Whatever world lay beyond life, it would be just another place to take over. He’d leave her behind, but that was okay; he’d grown tired of his cheating wife and could rest easy knowing she’d be stuck in this Hell for all eternity.

He took a deep breath and the world stopped. Oldenfold felt the pain of the world slip away and he sat up in bed. Lindy’s eye locked on his. He reached for the amulet around his neck and found nothing. He turned in the bed and found his mortal body wrapped in silk sheets and slowly growing colder. The amulet was still on his chest. He reached for the amulet but his spectral fingers passed through empty air.

Lindy’s chuckle brought him back to the here and now. Where was the portal? There was supposed to be a portal to the other side. Where was it? He looked back at Lindy’s ghost and found malice in her eyes. If he still had a spine, her expression would have sent chills through it.

“Hello, husband,” she said. “I’ve missed you.”


“Guys,” Char said. “Is it just me or is it getting colder in here?”

Vincent was elated, almost bouncing-off-the-walls level excited. “She probably used up all the energy in the room to appear to us like that. Keep that camera running.”

Fred nodded and watched the world through the viewfinder of his old camera as Vincent paced around the room muttering to himself. Finally, Vincent stopped and walked purposefully to the bookshelf. Most of the books were in sad shape, but they’d been neatly stored and safe from water. His fingers traced the top row until he found what he wanted.

Vincent glanced at the camera. Still running. He gathered his thoughts, closed his eyes, and focused. In many ways, he was just an actor playing a part, but Vincent didn’t do anything by halves. He held the book out in front of him and stepped back into his role as host.

“Lindy Oldenfold was here not five minutes ago. She floated right there, right in front of her precious books. I’ve seen a lot of ghosts in my time, but hers was the brightest, the one that felt most solid. She’s not a happy spirit, but she won’t leave.” He flipped open the book of poetry and scanned a page with his finger. “Lindy, I hope you’re listening.”

As he read the temperature dipped until goosebumps rose on Vincent’s skin, but he hoped reading her favorite poetry would call Lindy back. The lights flicked out again. Vincent stood still with his finger on the book and sighed. “Char, is there anything you can do to keep the lights going?”

No one answered. A sense of dread fell over the room and Vincent wondered if the stories of the vengeful spirit were true. Sometimes ghosts turned malignant and hauntings turned violent.

“Char?” he called again. “Fred?”

The room was totally silent. When the power went out it took all the whirring gears and flickering lights with it. Someone back there should be turning on a flashlight or at least fumbling around in the dark for one. There should be some noise, even if it was just someone breathing.

“Anyone?” Vincent called out. “Come on, guys. This isn’t funny. We’ve got to finish filming this episode or the network’s gonna have our hides. We’ve got a winner here, let’s get it done and in the can.”

No one answered. There wasn’t even the faint creak of wood from someone shifting or the tell-tale sounds of fabric rustling. The room felt empty, even the air felt dead.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark room, Vincent peered at the back of the room where his crew was supposed to be. He could see their silhouettes, still as the air in the room. He took a cautious step toward them. Instinct told him to be silent, to move slowly and not draw attention to himself lest the predators that lurk in the night find him.

“Hello,” Vincent whispered. “Not funny, guys.”

A dim blue glow faded in so slowly Vincent barely noticed it. As it glowed brighter and brighter, he knew Lindy was back, but morbid curiosity kept him focused on his team. They should be pointing cameras at the source of the glow. Microphones should be adjusting to capture every bit of noise in the room. Char’s gadgets should be pinging away, happily recording the world around them.

But there was nothing. The team was still there. They stood motionless as statues, each captured in a singular moment. Char was leaning over one of her creations, peering at some signal only she understood. Fred had a hand on his camera, but was pointing with the other, a look of horror on his face. The network guys were holding boom mics and staring off into space.

Behind Vincent, the glow got brighter. A spectral hand rested on his shoulder. He could feel it, it had weight and presence. He turned to find Lindy staring at him. A broken shell of a man stood behind her, collared and leashed.

Lindy pointed at the book in Vincent’s hands. “Keep reading,” she said.

#WATWB – Your Monthly Shot of News That Doesn’t Suck

About this time last year, I was sitting in my office, drinking coffee and checking the news – wait, scratch that. I was drinking coffee and working hard when someone showed up at my cubicle entrance unannounced. Now, a man’s cubicle is his tiny, fabric-covered castle and when a stranger shows up there’s only one thing to do. After I popped him in the jaw for interrupting my very, very important work, I helped him up off the ground and he told me to go home. Not because I’d just punched him – he respected both the power and accuracy of my snake-like strike to his beak – but because of COVID.

Of course, I’m mostly joking. He didn’t feel the sting of my lightning fist, but he did send me, along with everyone else in the office, home. My son’s school had shut down the previous night and later that day my wife would also be sent home. The office, along with everything else in New Mexico, was for mission-critical folks only. At the time, we’d figured it would be a couple of weeks to a month and things would normalize. That time dragged on. And on. And on. Meanwhile, a rube in a bad suit kept telling us it was fine while actual disease experts said he was an idiot for saying that. Mania took hold and, in true American tradition, we diverged into two extremist camps and hurled insults at each other. Businesses were shuttered, some permanently, and everyone got to adapt to being home an awful lot more than we ever had before. And now we’re celebrating the first year anniversary of our two-week lockdown.

I’ve often said the one thing that would make humans work together would be an external threat. I always figured it would be aliens, but a brand new virus turned to work pretty well, too. Aside from the knuckleheads who still claim it was made up, most of the world put their heads together and figured out how to stop the damned thing. It turned out to be easier than saving us from ourselves. There are still people denying the virus exists even as they’re dying from it. Reports indicate our rube in the bad suit came perilously close to dying from it and only an entire team of top-notch people managed to save his dumb ass from something he told everyone wasn’t a big deal.

A little over a year in and we’ve got multiple vaccines getting distributed. We’ve also got fake vaccines and vaccination records being sold on Darknet, proving yet again that there’s no low some folks won’t stoop to. But the good news is there are legit vaccines being passed around, most people have decided wearing a mask in public wasn’t going to turn them into communists, and it looks like the worst might be abating. Slowly, but surely. Businesses are opening back up, kids will be going back to school, and I got to stand in line to let someone inject me with an edited virus. Twice. Yes, I’m fully vaccinated. And aside from a lust for human blood and constantly hearing Bill Gates’s voice telling me to buy more copies of Windows and Office, I didn’t have much in the way of side effects. For about 1/2 an hour, I couldn’t decide if I was hot or cold, but that was about it. Others have reported Covid-like symptoms that last for a few hours to a day and disappear. Pretty impressive considering this time last year, we didn’t even know what the damned thing looked like, let alone how to get microchips small enough that we could inject them through tiny needles in an effort to control the world’s population.

When Joe Biden took office, one of his promises was 100 million vaccines in 100 days. We managed to pull it off in 58 days. There’s still a long way to go and you still need to wear a mask, but there’s a light on the edge of the horizon and someday we’ll look back on this time in world history and, well, probably not laugh, but at least breathe a sigh of relief that it’s over and try to find ways to make sure the next global pandemic is handled better than this one.

Check out the original story here.

If you’d like to connect your blog and help spread a little joy (or snark, like I do), it’s easy to sign up. Just ask and ye shall receive. Or go check it out here: here.

Our lovely and talented hosts this month are: Roshan Radhakrishnan , Shilpa GargBelinda Witzenhausen, Sylvia McGrath, and yours truly.

1. Keep your post to below 500 words, as much as possible. (Wow, I totally missed that mark this time around).
2. All we ask is you link to a human news story on your blog on the last Friday of each month, one that shows love, humanity and brotherhood.
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And now, your moment of Zen