Amazon’s Gonna Have My Legs Broken – A Few Tips on Not Getting Your Book Flagged

Amazon recently told the self-publishing world it was sick of their crap and they were gonna pay – and pay hard – for their insolence.

Okay, so it didn’t play out exactly like that, but that’s how a lot of people took it. Teeth were gnashed, curses were hurled to the Heavens, and at least one person vowed to move to Canada over the whole thing. Don’t worry, that’s normal. We writers are surly bunch and if you cross us you can not only expect to die in our next book, but you’d better believe your post or negative review is gonna get the glaring of a lifetime.

The general gist of the message was this: Amazon decided to start flagging books that were essentially unreadable and/or removing them until the flaws were fixed. Any number of things could cause this from excessive typos, to bad formatting, to bad cover images. Now, much as I hate to admit this, there are quite a few books out there that fall into one or more of the above categories. I know for a fact that one of mine definitely fell into one of the categories.

John Doppler is one of the very few people I know of who took the time to, you know, actually contact Amazon and get some hard information. Among other things, he found out that Amazon isn’t using bots to delete your book because you’ve got French words, and the odd typo isn’t going to call down the Amazon hammer. What they’re mostly concerned with is books that start getting an excessive amount of reader feedback about typos and formatting issues that render the final result unreadable. Amazon is employing actual humans to examine the bad books and will simply be asking authors to make their books readable. Once the errors are fixed, it’s all good in the hood.

Fancy that, it wasn’t as draconian as people were fearing.

Most of the issues are well beyond my purview to assist you with. If you’ve got a lot of typos, hire an editor or otherwise fix them. If your cover is really, really bad, hire a graphic designer to work with it. I’m actually available for that one, feel free to drop me a line. If your book has formatting issues that make it unreadable, hire someone to take a look at it. I can actually do that one, too. Drop me a line if you’re interested.

Earlier in this post I said I knew for certain that at least one of my books has serious formatting issues. That book was The Clock Man and it was one of those strange little things you wouldn’t expect would happen. When I took the Word doc and converted it to epub I did all my usual tweaks to clean it up and make it look all purty, but a quirk escaped my testing. One of my friends got hold of me and told me she was having problems reading the book. Apparently each new page would render in black on her older Kindle but immediately fade to a very faint gray.

Light gray on a light background is pretty hard to read.

It turns out some of the e-Ink Kindles have problems with named colors in CSS files. Instead of setting color: #000000 like I should have, I set it to color: black. That rendered beautifully on my tablet and my PC, but turned light gray on my old Kindle keyboard. The solution was simply to not use named colors and use hex codes instead. Or better yet, don’t use them at all, that way the Kindle just defaults to all black text.

So, there you go. One very important tip for you: test your final book on as many devices as possible before you upload it. No matter how good a simulator is, it’s not as good as trying something out on actual hardware.

A few more links (including John Doppler’s) on the whole thing.

Book Review – Queen Part I by Felipe Adan Lerma

This is going to be a unique review because I’m not just looking at the book, I’m examining how the author is making use of a relatively new technology in a bold experiment.

Amazon has dropped some bombs on traditional publishers over the years. First they dropped the Kindle and everyone suddenly realized eBooks were going to be a thing. Then they set up their own indie publishing service and – for better or worse – a bunch of authors who couldn’t have otherwise gotten their work out suddenly had a voice. The most recent bomb was the advent of Kindle Unlimited. In author circles the jury is still out on that one. Personally I’m just happy someone’s reading my stuff.

The thing about KU (as us cool kids call Kindle Unlimited) is it basically says for about ten bucks a month you can read anything you want that has been published as a KU title. There’s been some back and forth on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing for authors, but some of the more adventurous authors out there are starting to change the rules of writing to better fit some of the new technologies out there. One of those authors is Felipe Adan Lerma, a Texas author with no small amount of books already under his name.

Lerma reckoned, probably correctly, that one good use of the Kindle Unlimited platform might be to make use of it to bring back a largely lost art form: the serial. Back in the day you used to be able to listen to the radio and hear parts of a story told every week. Think of it as television without the incessant commercials.

Traditional publishers would never go for such an outrage because it would cost far too much to print a whole mess of parts of a story. Heck, even traditional eBooks would probably not work terribly well because the cost would add up pretty quickly. But KU is a game changer and Lerma is using it to  his advantage to release a whole book but in multiple parts spread out over a large block of time.

Queen is Lerma’s first shot at this strategy and I’ve only read the first bit but already I’m getting hooked on the two characters I’ve seen so far. Part I is a slow build to what will likely be a climactic conclusion; a literary smash-up of good and evil.

It’s too early in the cycle to say how the whole story will play out but Lerma’s poetic prose is intoxicating. Already he’s establishing a calm, calculating villain (the scariest kind) and a hero that’s centering herself in the middle of a brewing storm. He’s already building what will likely be a great story and with the advent of KU readers will be able to experience as it happens.

Lerma has also promised to compile the collection into a single compendium when it’s finished so Luddites like myself can experience the majesty of the whole thing. But for that you’ve got to wait.

It’s almost enough to make me sign up for Kindle Unlimited.


Get your copy of Queen Part I here

Follow Felipe on Twitter

Check out Felipe’s Website