Ban My Book – Part 2

In my ongoing attempt to extend an olive branch to the crazies I’d like to offer some very compelling reasons to ban my latest book. I wrote up a point-by-point analysis of why Henchmen and Arise should be banned, but in the interest of saving someone some very valuable time, I’ve compiled this list of excellent reasons why The Clock Man should – nay, must be banned immediately.

  • Alluding to the idea that neutrality is better than good or evil.
  • A group using a long-running battle between good and evil to make profit for themselves. Something like that would certainly never happen in the real world.
  • Use of witchcraft, Dia De Los Muertos statues, magic, and a talking weapon designed to kill Gods. Heck, just the idea that a God could be killed is considered heresy in some places.
  • Magic and ghosts. Actually The Protectors is pretty tame, but should probably be banned just to be on the safe side. It wouldn’t do to risk wrath, now would it?
  • The idea that human can capture a God and that God can start a brand new religion. Heresy. Political figures shown in a negative light. Not as negative a light as in Henchmen, but pretty negative.
  • A morally ambiguous hero.
  • Taken one way, The Clock Man can be allegory for a human killing God.
  • Murders, allusions to sex, a woman in lingerie trying to seduce someone, a woman who’s not only powerful but thinks for herself.
  • Norse Gods as real beings.
  • Magic, witchcraft, a monster that’s something less than despicable, a hint that a monster is sent as punishment.

I’ve done the heavy lifting here, so it’s up to the morality police to use their power to make sure everyone knows about this book and just how filled with moral turpitude it is.

“A coward turns away, but a brave man’s choice is danger.” – Euripides

“The truth, no matter the cost.” – Spider Jerusalem

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Ban My Book

One Million Moms, those fun folks that hate pretty much everything, are running a petition to get Fox’s Lucifer stopped.  Their problem with the show stems from the fact that Lucifer (which is based on a comic of the same name) in the show is the actual, factual Lucifer who has decided to step out of Hell and into L.A.  True to his amazing powers, Lucifer can actually tell the difference between the two places.  In L.A., Lucifer helps the police punish criminals.  Among other things, One Million Moms takes offense at the idea that the Lucifer in the show is portrayed as something other than a unholy terror and abomination in the eyes of God.  They also oppose scenes of violence, scantily clad women (this is L.A., remember), and any kind of fun in general.

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I love this gif

 

One Million Moms appears to have some funding because anything they want to get rid of gets pretty well known pretty quickly.  Of course, most of the people that see their protests realize that what’s being protested actually looks interesting and thus ratings go up.

So, with that in mind, I’d like to offer a list of reasons One Million Moms should look into protesting Henchmen and Arise.  To make things easier for them, I’ve prepared a bulleted list of things they would probably be averse to.

In Henchmen

  • Scenes of nudity
  • Scenes of bondage
  • Violence
  • Cursing
  • Bad guys opposing the Government
  • A brief bit of cross-dressing
  • Someone moves a chair
  • Sushi, which may be considered unclean by some standards is consumed off a naked woman
  • Multiple deaths
  • A God that is not Jesus is introduced
  • A homosexual couple that are treated as just normal people and not scorned
  • Discussions of pornography

In Arise

  • Scenes of violence
  • Cursing
  • A general disrespect for organized religion
  • Discussions of humans as Gods
  • Genetic modification (playing God)
  • An End Time vision that tracks more closely to the Norse version of the end of the world
  • A man becomes defeats a God
  • Kissing between unmarried people
  • Drinking
  • More treatment of a homosexual couple as just regular folks

So, One Million Moms, if you’re looking for something you can really get yourself wrapped around the axle about, why not ban Henchmen and Arise before their moral turpitude infects anyone?  There’s probably even some other stuff in my books that’s really, really bad, so I beg of you, One Million Moms, start an international campaign to ban my books.  Spare no expense.

Remember, that’s Henchmen and Arise.

Cover design © 2015, Eric Lahti.  Background Stock Photo by Pixattitude. ID 30553123 © Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com

Cover design © 2015, Eric Lahti. Background Stock Photo by Pixattitude. ID 30553123 © Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com

© 2015, Eric Lahti Background image: ID 30553123 © Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com

© 2015, Eric Lahti
Background image: ID 30553123 © Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com